We can put it more broadly: “love” is not capable of being decided in the ways we keep trying. “Happiness” is not either. I’ll throw out “good” and “true” and a host of other deep-set values. If you want to pretend that none of that is important, then feel free, but I’m not going to trust you for a second.
Even an aromantic anhedonic nihilist will recognize that the preferences of other people are important for determining policy, if not merely to keep the herd from stampeding.
As he says, we should be going nuclear about this. But we aren't. (And probably won't?)
Amazing what we'll trade off for a sense of stability. It's all part of the plan.